Posted by Disagreements with your realtor don’t have to derail your home search. Learn how to navigate conflicts and when it’s time to part ways. I still cringe remembering the time I dug my heels in about offering $50,000 under asking price for what I was convinced was my dream home. My realtor, a seasoned pro who’d seen every market swing imaginable, gave me this patient-but-pained smile that said “Oh honey, no.” We were at an impasse, me clinging to my spreadsheet of comparable sales, her armed with years of negotiation scars. But here’s what surprised me: we worked through it without anyone storming out or passive-aggressive emails. Turns out you can disagree with your realtor and still come out ahead if you approach it right.
Why You and Your Realtor Will Sometimes Clash
At its core, every realtor-client disagreement boils down to one thing: you’re emotionally invested in your home, while they’re strategically invested in closing a deal. I learned this the hard way when I fell in love with a charming Craftsman that had my realtor visibly nervous. Turned out she’d represented three buyers who’d walked away from inspections on that same street after discovering foundation issues. What felt like her being a buzzkill was actually hard-won experience trying to protect me from heartbreak.
The Art of Productive Pushback
When my realtor balked at my lowball offer strategy, I made the rookie mistake of getting defensive. What worked better was asking “Help me understand why this wouldn’t work?” Her response was a detailed breakdown of how sellers in our market perceived low offers as disrespectful rather than negotiating tactics, that completely changed my approach. Another time, when she kept steering me away from open concept homes in my price range, I asked what alternatives might give me that feeling. She introduced me to the magic of strategic wall removal, saving me from compromising on layout.
When to Stand Your Ground
There are times when you need to trust your gut over your agent’s advice. I once had to show my realtor their own market report to prove a listing was overpriced – they’d gotten stuck in “this is just what homes cost now” thinking. Another agent kept showing me homes with stairs after I’d clearly explained my mother’s mobility issues. That wasn’t a disagreement, it was a failure to listen to basic needs. The best realtors will explain their reasoning, not just insist they’re right.
Breaking Up With Your Realtor Without the Drama
Sometimes differences can’t be resolved. When I realized my first realtor and I had fundamentally different risk tolerances, I scheduled a frank but kind conversation. “I think we have different approaches to this process – I need someone who’s willing to chase more unconventional leads” landed better than frustration ever could. We parted professionally, and she actually referred me to an agent better suited to my scrappy approach. The key was addressing the mismatch early before resentment built up.
The Aftermath of a Good Disagreement
That initial clash over my lowball offer? It became our secret weapon. When we found the right place, my realtor used what she’d learned about my analytical approach to craft an offer that appealed to the seller’s emotional triggers while still getting me under asking price. Our disagreements had given her better tools to represent me. Now when we butt heads, I remember: friction can create something better than either of us would have come up with alone.
References
National Association of REALTORS®. (2023, April 25). Managing conflict.
North Carolina REALTORS®. (2023, November 14). Real estate commission’s conflict of interest rules.
International Journal of Real Estate Studies. (2020). Dispute resolution in real estate transactions: Examining factors determining the selection of strategies used. International Journal of Real Estate Studies, 14(1), 1–8.
Northwest Virginia Association of REALTORS®. (2023). Professional standards for new members [PDF].